Reason #5

Well, Jeanne came to visit me over the weekend. I was hoping she'd just stay, but it didn't work out. Curtis and I showed her a good Seattley time, even, and she didn't stay. However, we did present her with several more reasons for relocation. I am at work, though, so I will only be posting one of them now:

Jeanne loves beautiful things. Over the weekend, she got to see Mt. Rainier in all her glory, stunning views of the Seattle Skyline, and the beautiful baglady outside the B&O. Not to mention her new boyfriend at the Dilettante cafe. Also, her first glimpse of the Starbucks SODO building and a stunningly beautiful ferry on Elliot Bay. Now, I'm not saying that Portland is doesn't have it's share of beautiful things. Lord knows I love that city. All I'm suggesting is that perhaps it's time for a change of scenery.

Who could pass up the opportunity to gaze at these marvels every day? Apparently, Jeanne thinks she can, but she is sadly mistaken. So, reason #5 that Jeanne should herself become Seattley is that there is just so much breathtaking beauty to behold, and she should be a part of it.

Reason #4

Jeanne is the assistant to the Dean of Students at Mountain Range University. "I should be excused from chapel because (insert ridiculous reason here)." Who wouldn't want to run far, far away from that? Seattle = far away from whining college students who think that they are the exception to every rule. Portland = close to whining college students who think that they are the exception to every rule. Seems like a simple equation to figure out to me.

So, reason #4 that my patient and loving friend Jeanne should move it on up is that even the kindest soul can only take so much from the blubbering babies. Run away, Jeanne! Run away!

Reason #3

Jeanne is one of my very bestest friends in the whole enite great big huge ol' world. Today is my birthday. She's not here. I don't think this one requires a whole lot of extra explaination, so...

The third reason my fabulous pally Jeanne should hoist her hiney up here is because no celebration is as enjoyable without her.

Reason #2

Jeanne is the Replacement Sister. That makes 3 sisters in my family, and 2 out of 3 sisters agree that Jeanne should move to Seattle. Sister Marie and I are terribly lonely in our sisterhood without her. We cry most days because of the deep sadness in our souls at being separated from Jeanne's loveliness. We have Jeanne-shaped hole in our hearts! :(

All of our sisterly activities are only 2/3 as fabulous as they should be. Our laugheter is only operating at 66.6% of its usual rate of delightfulness. Return to us, Jeanne, and save us from our forlorn and fragmented state!

Reason #1

Jeanne is a California Girl. Granted, she has lived in the beautiful Pacific Northwest for a long time, but not long enough to acquire the "webbed feet" that most of us natives are born with. While it's true that Seattle and Portland both see their fair share of rain in a given year, the average annual rainfall in Seattle is a full FOUR INCHES LESS than it is in P-town! (i know you're curious- it's 36 inches in Seattle and 40 in Portland)

So, reason number 1 that my dear friend Jeanne should pack up the u-haul and point it North is that those extra four inches could just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Her sunny Cali demeanor just can't handle the extra precipitation!